I had a beautiful man ask to sleep over. I frankly wasn’t even going to allow him access, because I could hardly look him in the eyes, but I gave him the green light. Why? Because when a man who resembles Freddie Prince JR circa 2002 asks to see where you sleep, it takes an extra amount of energy to say “no”. Frankly, when it comes to sex I’m as weak as they come (no pun intended).
He complemented my bedroom layout choice while it was a mess and had the scent of dirty laundry and booze; I had been so used to the smell so it may not have. Luckily I was able to to have an extra 3 minutes and 34 seconds to throw the ‘put away’ pile of clothes into the closet so we at least had a walking path to the bed. Expecting no action (because the boy I actually liked was out of town,) my vagina was un-shaved and not “will you go down on me?” ready. Honestly and thankfully, I’m starting to forget what that definition is. I was in un-sexy underwear, sweatpants and repeatedly told him he didn’t have get me off; he made me cum twice.
The guy I really liked for half a year was due to come over the next day. None of my friend really liked him (red flag) and I couldn’t tell if he liked me(red flag), but I was taking a chance (red flag?). That morning, I cleaned all the corners of my room, purchased his favorite whiskey and exfoliated/shaved every inch of my body. It won’t come as a shock, but I managed to get my hopes up after begging myself not to.
Oh Mollie, how many last-minute let downs will it take for you to realize that you’re too optimistic? Probably an infinite amount of times. Like I say before kissing a boy that’s made my knees ache all night, the lead up is the best part. He texted me 20 minutes prior of his arrival and explained what personality traits of mine turned him off. These traits were why he would not be coming over that night or ever again. No matter how much effort I would put into this man, he wouldn’t like me.
It was this instance that made me learn a harsh truth. If someone wants you, none of the small shit will matter. Not the way your upper lip hides when you laugh, not the fact that you accidentally spit on his cheek when you were talking about where you went to undergrad, and it definitely wont matter if you have hair where hair is supposed to grow. If someone wants you it will be known. He’ll drive to see you, he’ll text you back, he may even text you first?!
Humans are beautiful, creative, they sometimes even come with a tremendous amount of depth, but in essence people are shitty and have the power to make you feel low. Find someone that actually wants you. It doesn’t matter how much you lather your skin in cocoa body butter, they’ll see you if they want to see you.. So let 2002 Freddie Prince JR make you cum if you want him too.
trying to be someone i read about 